The Internet is fantastic without expectations. That’s how it was when I was younger.
When, as a gawky teenager, I discovered the teen furry forum Furtopia, I was thrilled. When I published my writing for the first time, a piece of gay erotic demon fiction on an LGBT short story website called Nifty (warning: VERY NSFW), and someone emailed me saying they loved it, that was amazing. When YouTube first started and people were just putting up silly vlogs and responding to each other’s videos and 100 people being at a gathering was a HUGE deal, that was really exciting.
I don’t feel excited by the Internet most days now.
Part of the magic of the old chaotic web has been lost, but a lot of it also comes down to expectations. I was taught to measure contentment in likes and comments, so I did so and lost interest in vlogging and writing just for the damn sake of it.
Writing fast and heatyfully.
That’s why I’m loving this blog at the moment. I’m just putting up things that I want to say. No expectations, no self-censorship, no broader marketing funnel. I got to the stage of writing without expectations through reflection and meditation, and this blog is becoming another tool for that.
I wish all my friends had blogs. I want that cool intimacy, that uncurated delve into someone’s emotional and mental being. I’d take it over the prettiest Instagram post any day.
A blog is just a diary without a lock.