I saw this tweet today: Common life strategy for autistic people: achieve/overachieve until burning out and maybe the overachievement will result in enough social and economic capital to see you through the burnout. High cost, high failure rate, inaccessible to many.— theories of minds (@theoriesofminds) March 4, 2018 And it struck a nerve. Because unlike … Continue reading Reading the waves of burnout; or, What does it mean to be supported by those who might not understand my unmasked self?
My top reads of 2021
I read 49 books this year, which is a horrendously frustrating number. Partially, it's because I spent most of the year gallivanting around with my new girlfriend. Still, I read some good books! Here are my top eight. 1. Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? (Anthology edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore) This year I … Continue reading My top reads of 2021
The fear of getting better
Since I lost speech almost a month ago, I've had to put my podcast on hiatus and seriously reconsider my plans to do teacher training next year. This has put me in an employment limbo. All my main skills (podcasting, teaching, linguistics) are very much language-based, which makes it difficult to find a job when … Continue reading The fear of getting better
Love, detransition, moving, collapse
A summary of my 2021, detailing the intense autistic burnout I have fallen into.
Un songe avec des québécoises
Hier soir j'ai fait un songe que j'étais à l'aéroport avec ma maman, sur le chemin chez nous apres une vacance de je-ne-sais-où. Maman a dû lever un drap qui couvrait un bancomat pour tirer de l'argent, et pendant celà j'ai écouté la conversation un peu hébétée des trois filles derrière nous. Elles parlaient de … Continue reading Un songe avec des québécoises
The ecstasy of illness
I just got back from a 5-day trip to London, the first since late 2019, before coronavirus ravaged us all. It was chaotic and hectic and joyous and exhausting and smutty and grounding, everything I wanted and more. The day before I went home, I woke up with a mildly sore throat, and the day … Continue reading The ecstasy of illness
Rediscovering my love of romance
No, not the shitty real men kind, the fantasy dragon shifter kind. Maybe I mentioned it on here before? I used to write gay romance novels and self-publish them under a penname. Specifically, they were gay dragon shifter mpreg. If you're not sure what all those words mean, I implore you to google it yourself. … Continue reading Rediscovering my love of romance
Hello, old friend
The digital diary is BACK with horrible sex tales!
A progress report on living life for real
I'm writing this, agog, agag, and awash, on the way home from a two-week holiday, so please forgive any inconsistencies in style or coherence. I have been to two events this summer: the Agen TPRS Workshop in the south of France and the 75th International Youth Congress of Esperanto in Liptovský Hrádok, Slovakia. The TL;DR … Continue reading A progress report on living life for real
Un cri de coeur or some bullshit like that
I feel so hopelessly, endlessly alone. I have been sitting in the park, crying and smoking. My flatmate is ghosting me, I have no partner, I have no IRL friends who I can go to for support, and the family that I do have wouldn't even understand why I'm so miserable. How do I even … Continue reading Un cri de coeur or some bullshit like that