A progress report on living life for real

I'm writing this, agog, agag, and awash, on the way home from a two-week holiday, so please forgive any inconsistencies in style or coherence. I have been to two events this summer: the Agen TPRS Workshop in the south of France and the 75th International Youth Congress of Esperanto in Liptovský Hrádok, Slovakia. The TL;DR … Continue reading A progress report on living life for real

Un cri de coeur or some bullshit like that

I feel so hopelessly, endlessly alone. I have been sitting in the park, crying and smoking. My flatmate is ghosting me, I have no partner, I have no IRL friends who I can go to for support, and the family that I do have wouldn't even understand why I'm so miserable. How do I even … Continue reading Un cri de coeur or some bullshit like that

I am draining away

When I was a teenager, I didn't feel like I had an identity at all. I was a bundle of trauma, loneliness, undiagnosed autism and unrealised transness. I barely communicated in the "real world", spending all my time with online communities and friends that spanned a gamut of abusiveness. I "came out of my shell" when I started doing youth theatre. I became more social, began to have an identity in the commonly accepted sense.

Thought for food

In the immortal words of Rebecca Glasscock, "today is just a funky day for me". Despite talking a lot of bravado about reading a few days ago, shifting reading to before my meditation and writing routine did not bring about the instant level of enhanced craft and enlightenment I'd hoped for. When I was working on fiction today, the words came slowly and painfully, and I fell back into that writing mood of tabbing away from my novel to google Why is writing so exhausting?

Adults are terrible learners

Adults are just riddled with complexes. Adults are impatient. Adults are uncreative. Adults write everything down. Adults wear their anxiety on their face. Adults stay perfectly quiet. Adults would rather talk about washing up than wizardry. Adults don't want to read for gist. Adults refuse to be in a class with people of "lower levels" than them. Adults don't believe what you tell them.