Un cri de coeur or some bullshit like that

I feel so hopelessly, endlessly alone. I have been sitting in the park, crying and smoking. My flatmate is ghosting me, I have no partner, I have no IRL friends who I can go to for support, and the family that I do have wouldn't even understand why I'm so miserable. How do I even … Continue reading Un cri de coeur or some bullshit like that →

I am draining away

When I was a teenager, I didn't feel like I had an identity at all. I was a bundle of trauma, loneliness, undiagnosed autism and unrealised transness. I barely communicated in the "real world", spending all my time with online communities and friends that spanned a gamut of abusiveness. I "came out of my shell" when I started doing youth theatre. I became more social, began to have an identity in the commonly accepted sense.

I have neglected my autism for too long – it’s time to change that

This time, I think I've really cracked the code.

The translation is always better than the original

People are weird about translations. "I only watch subs, but for Cowboy Bebop, the dub is better." "You really have to read it in the original language to fully appreciate it." "It's so funny seeing dubs; the words don't match their lips!" Me? I'm completely normal.

Commute

A poem about the above.

What does it mean for Drag Race to suck?

I'm a really big fan of Rupaul's Drag Race. As a professed autist, I take it very seriously. I discovered the series about five years ago, just after season six came out, and I binged all the way through and hopped on the livewatching train at season seven.

Thought for food

In the immortal words of Rebecca Glasscock, "today is just a funky day for me". Despite talking a lot of bravado about reading a few days ago, shifting reading to before my meditation and writing routine did not bring about the instant level of enhanced craft and enlightenment I'd hoped for. When I was working on fiction today, the words came slowly and painfully, and I fell back into that writing mood of tabbing away from my novel to google Why is writing so exhausting?

Adults are terrible learners

Adults are just riddled with complexes. Adults are impatient. Adults are uncreative. Adults write everything down. Adults wear their anxiety on their face. Adults stay perfectly quiet. Adults would rather talk about washing up than wizardry. Adults don't want to read for gist. Adults refuse to be in a class with people of "lower levels" than them. Adults don't believe what you tell them.

You better read, bitch

You wanna be brainy? Be productive and innovatey? You better read bitch. You wanna be artsy? Have your routine sorted? You better read bitch.

The tyranny of observation in language classes

I had my lesson observed today. It was by a colleague I like, who 'gets' the way I teach, so it wasn't particularly nerve-wracking, but there's still that theatre about it. Do you acknowledge the observer's presence? Do you explain it to the class? Do you include them in discussions and activities?