I am draining away

When I was a teenager, I didn't feel like I had an identity at all. I was a bundle of trauma, loneliness, undiagnosed autism and unrealised transness. I barely communicated in the "real world", spending all my time with online communities and friends that spanned a gamut of abusiveness. I "came out of my shell" when I started doing youth theatre. I became more social, began to have an identity in the commonly accepted sense.

We are cracking

I had a breakdown this morning. I was planning on marking some work, before going in to teach two new 2-hour classes, followed by another 3-hour class. I'd been bubbling with anxiety over the fact that it was new students for over a week, and it all overflowed in a fairly pathetic crying fit.

Lonely birthday thoughts

I'm 26 today. Birthdays have always been intensely loserish for me. There used to be a video of teenage me eating a whole slice of pizza in one mouthful at my friend's birthday party in Pizza Hut. I wanted to start the blog post off with this, but unfortunately it appears to have been deleted off YouTube. So I'll regale you with some past memories instead.